When I first signed up for BBYO’s Central Europe Summer Passport trip, I saw it as nothing more than one more summer with a couple of my old camp friends. I never would have imagined the impact that the whole trip would have on me. I met so many people that I’m now grateful to call my friends, strengthened my connection to my ancestors and my Judaism through many sights and tours, and experienced what true leadership means through volunteering and talking to staff and leaders that I never would have met without this trip.

Although I gained so much insight from this trip, it took me a while to see exactly what it would all mean for me. Especially since this passport trip started off on a negative note. From the moment I arrived at the Newark airport, I was nervous and anxious that I wouldn’t get along with anyone. I already had FOMO from not being on ILTC with a couple of my chapter friends. I was worried I would regret that decision for the remainder of my summer. Upon walking in, I witnessed teens hugging and laughing, nothing but excited for the journey ahead. The plane ride wasn’t really memorable, except for losing my left AirPod, which is probably still somewhere in Berlin right now. We finally landed in Berlin, Germany, my new favorite city. We wasted no time, and before even stopping at a hotel, arrived at the Holocaust Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe near the Brandenburg Gate.

At first, this memorial had me questioning how a field of 2711 concrete steles could possibly relate to literally anything. Especially because at first glance, I had no idea it was a memorial. After exploring these steles, it hit me that maybe this wasn’t meant to be an average or conventional memorial. It was meant to intrigue those who passed by, as it did me. The scales were all uneven and not by any means symmetrical, representing the pure disorientation of the Holocaust.

After a couple of days in Berlin with decent weather, we drove to Prague in the Czech Republic, where the skies were definitely clearer. While the whole trip consisted of long bus rides that had us trapped for a few hours, they were honestly some of the best parts of the trip. Each bus ride gave me plenty of time to connect with other people, listen to music, and even go through photos that we had taken. On each bus ride, I remember being amazed by sights that were normal to the locals there but that I would never see in my part of Texas, like huge mountains. When we arrived in Prague, I instantly took note of the difference in architecture. My favorite part of Prague was definitely my first real BBYO Shabbat. We had dinner at a local synagogue, and I had never seen so much hospitality, especially from people who spoke a completely different language than I did. We were also lucky enough to have tickets to an opera-type concert at a Spanish Synagogue. While I might have fallen asleep during the concert… the parts I heard were really nice and soothing, even though I didn't speak the language.

From Prague, we made our way to our most anticipated location, Vienna, Austria. I’m pretty sure I, as well as the majority of my group, had only known of Vienna because of Billy Joel's hit song. As I joked, Vienna and all of its wonders did wait for us. The most memorable experience I had in Vienna was white-water rafting with some of the new friends I had made. Once we left Vienna, the trip was bound to take a turn. For better or worse, I’m still not fully sure, but the tone suddenly became much more serious. On our way to Poland, I had been warned about the rest of the trip. I understood that this would be educational and emotional, but at the time, I had no idea just how meaningful touring Poland would be. We started Poland off on a positive note, preparing for what we knew would be a hard time by beginning at thermal pools in Krakow. The only way I can describe these thermal pools is like an American water park, but more natural and 10x better.

The next day, we began our long yet, what felt like, necessary journey at Birkenau-Auschwitz. At both Birkenau-Auschwitz, we explored areas that seemed empty, yet it struck me that so many of my ancestors had walked in the same steps I had that day, and I remember thinking how insanely lucky I was to be able to walk out. At another point, I found myself staring into a glass room where a million shoes lay. I tried to ignore the empty shoes and the thoughts that they were once filled with Jewish people, like myself. What hurt more than that was the room just parallel to that. In that room, I remember thinking, “Why would they have two separate rooms just for shoes?” Until it hit me, these shoes were different. They belonged to hundreds of thousands of children. Innocent souls. Souls that once dreamed of living long and meaningful lives. Souls that never got to know what lay beyond, just because they were born with a Jewish mother, or lived in a household where Shabbat was celebrated. That feeling made me sick.

​I really consider that experience a turning point for me, and from then on, I held myself to a higher standard. I want to live my life to the fullest extent possible for those who weren’t able to. We ended our trip in Warsaw with a kayak ride and a campfire. While it was fun, I was never able to get the horrifying images of empty shoes and cabins out of my mind. The last day was full of tears for everyone on the trip, even the staff. We had truly built a kehilah kedoshah, and a group of people that I’m insanely proud to now call a family. While my trip is over, the memories are still among the purest and most memorable I don’t think I will ever have the chance to recreate. If you’re reading this and don’t know whether to take that risk or try that new food, always DO IT, and if you’re debating whether or not to sign up for a BBYO Summer experience, DO IT!

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