From Different Cities and Different Countries, But Under One Order and One Home

October 27, 2025
Marissa Friedlander

Phoenix, Arizona, United States

Class of 2028

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Standing in a circle with the wind in our hair and the sun setting behind us, we were experiencing the last moments of Shabbat. Half of us were in tears, not willing to understand the truth of all of us going home in the next 36 hours. In this moment, we all shared a moment of hope, peace, and family.

Two years ago, my eighth-grade self joined BBYO, unaware of the family I was entering. I was scared and alone, but the people in my soon-to-be chapter made me feel like I belonged. I was overwhelmed with the love and passion all the girls had for this “small” extracurricular. They took me in as a scared, insecure 8th grader and helped me grow into someone I never thought I could become: a leader.

The following year, I did everything my heart told me to do. I applied for regional steering, I ran for board, I did everything BBYO had to offer. However, I would soon learn that failing is part of the process. I lost elections twice, and I didn’t win everything I wanted, but I didn’t quit. I didn’t quit because the girls in my chapter kept me up. Whether I’ve known them for years or I just met them, they helped me try again. I never gave up because of the actions they took on my behalf. If it weren’t for the connection, I would never have tried all the things I wanted to do. And I would do the same for them in a heartbeat. Not because I’m repaying the favor, but because they are my home.

Home is a word used to describe where someone lives: a place, not people. So, how is my chapter, my region, or my order my home? To me, home is not what you surround yourself with, but who. The people someone surrounds themselves with impact every decision they make: the clothes they wear, the activities they pursue, the relationships they form, etc. A home can be anywhere; in someone's house, school, summer camp, chapter, city, etc. Home is a place to escape the real world and relax. Every time I enter a BBYO program, I feel safe, happy, and at home. Going to CLTC this past summer showed me that people don’t have to be in their hometown to feel safe. People from all over the world can come to a summer program and feel right at home.

When I arrived at a new place with new people, in a new state, I was terrified. I felt like I was the scared, insecure 8th grader I was two years ago. However, again, it was the community that showed me everything would be all right. Everyone became a family within days, and we quickly built a home. All 80 people who were at CLTC with me came from different backgrounds, but bonded like we had known each other for years.

By the time the second week's Sabbath came around, we all knew what it meant: we were leaving soon. All of the memories we’ve made, friendships we’ve assembled, and the home we’ve built would soon be separated by hundreds of thousands of miles. The thought of leaving brought us to tears, because we didn’t want to leave. We were scared of being separated by thousands of miles and losing the home we had built. However, deep down, we all knew that this home could never be lost. It didn’t matter whether we lived in the sunny state of Florida or the frozen waters of Latvia; we would always be close to one another.

Everyone who went on to CLTC has a different story; a different way they ended up where and who they are. They are all involved in clubs, school, sports, etc., but they chose to be here. These people who showed up to CLTC and chose to pause all the other crazy things in their lives to build a community, to build a home.

If I hadn’t come to my first program two years ago, I wouldn't be here today. The friendships I’ve made in my chapter, region, and order will last a lifetime. A home doesn't have to be only a place; it can be people, too. To me, that home is BBYO and the people within.

Marissa Friedlander is an BBG from Shapiro BBG in Mountain Region and she goes skiing every year in Telluride, Colorado.

All views expressed on content written for The Shofar represent the opinions and thoughts of the individual authors. The author biography represents the author at the time in which they were in BBYO.

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