Last summer, I had the opportunity to go to Israel through a URJ Camps program. One of the highlights of my time was a four-day “Chavaya” or excursion. For my excursion, I chose to participate in Gadna, an IDF training that provides teens with a mock experience meant to simulate life in the Israeli Defense Forces. 

Reading the description of the activity, I wasn’t sure what to expect. Would I be sitting through lectures? Watching depictions of Eretz Yisrael’s protectors in battle? So many questions ran through my mind as I affirmatively made my dad sign me up.

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Day 1

On the bus going to the base, my friends and I discussed our expectations we would be met with. I had watched videos of other Jewish teens participating in the same program, notably with commanders who barked commands at them, so, I expected to lose my voice over the next four days from responding. We got off the bus, running with our bags to meet our commander. Standing with our stuff, she raised her voice, explaining what we would be doing next. I was taken aback, I felt confused. To explain events and rules, wouldn’t yelling be the best way to bring your point across? We received our plain uniforms just as I had imagined. We individually chatted with our commander, talking about our religious obligations, food restrictions, or any interest we had in joining the IDF after high school. We placed our bags in our barracks, and changed fully into uniform, before forming the letter chet outside. Our commander took us throughout the base, showing us every place for us to go. What I found most interesting were the meals which the IDF goes to incredible lengths to keep kosher on all bases, to make sure that the meals align with kosher law. Finally, we met as a team in the area where the first of many ceremonies would occur. I remember feeling proud to be there, experiencing what my Israeli counselors and my Israeli friends would eventually be a part of. One of the major parts of the day was certain members of each team receiving special roles. My interest in the leadership and workings of the IDF landed me the role of Ein Samelet. A Samelet is the platoon sergeant. I had to report to the Samelet on base at the end of each day, to report on matters of morale, to make any questions I had about the job known, and to make sure that my team was orderly with matters such as cleaning. 

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 Day 2

We woke up bright and early, met by our commander. Following breakfast we once again gathered in a chet. We were led to a classroom where our male counterparts (we were a female-only squad) met for a lesson on the IDF’s use of firearms. Something notable to me in Israeli society is their policies on the carrying of firearms. Israeli firearm policy consists of recurring background checks to ensure you’re mentally fit to carry a gun. As we sat down at desks, we began our lessons. Part of the experience was that we’d be getting to shoot an M-16 rifle. Before discussing how to use the weapon, the commanders taught us the idea of Tohar Neshek or purity of arms in English, one of the core values stated in the IDF’s official doctrine of ethics. They emphasized how having a gun in the first place serves as a last resort. Though one has access to a dangerous weapon, violence is never the first solution. I found some sense of comfort in the promotion of other motives rather than resorting to the use of machines whose sole purpose is mass destruction. Part of the reason I was a bit shocked, however, was a clash of ideals in the media. With media organizations supporting the IDF, you get a different set of accounts that praise the IDF's military strategy, while other media outlets call the IDF cruel, as well as murderers. Following the ethics lesson, we began the steps to learning the ins and outs of the gun. We followed that up by learning 10 rules to maintain safety with a weapon. To drill the information into our heads, we were made to yell the steps in order to fire in both English and Hebrew whilst running in place. We were also taught the different holding positions; standing, laying down, and kneeling. Each position is unique in what it provides when engaging in armed conflict. The evening consisted of a “masa” in which all squads from different departments marched, led by the “mem-pei,” which is army slang for company commander. The mem-pei took us through a mix of walking and running on a path outside of the base. Every so often we stopped throughout the journey. It was during these stops we were told the inspiring story of Michael Levin, a lone soldier who enthusiastically made aliyah to Israel with one goal on his mind, to join the IDF. Tragically, Michael lost his life in battle, but his story was utterly inspirational. Alongside us who came from America for the trip, we were joined by other squads who came from South America. 

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Day 3

On the third day, we woke up before the sun, as it was our turn for food duty. We trudged to the cafeteria where we helped set everything up. For the next four hours, we put the food out, served it, and ended it off by cleaning the kitchen in record time. After cleaning the kitchen, we returned to the classroom where we had our final lesson on weaponry: how to hold, and fire. Though I hadn’t thought much more about the idea of holding a gun, I only expected a loud sound and some kickback. However, when it was my turn to hold the weapon that I'd be firing the next day, I felt my heart pounding. After following each of the steps my commander gave me, I was instructed to fire the gun. The click of the empty chamber haunted me for the rest of the day. After some well-rested downtime and another meal, our commander surprised us with yet another visit outside the base. We then were instructed on camouflage, and how in the IDF, soldiers use anything and everything around them to conceal themselves from enemies. We were told to pour water on the dirt, and rub it on our faces, so that way, our faces would blend in with the ground. To test our skills, we played a competitive game of camouflage hide and seek, where I remained victorious in hiding myself behind trees, with leaves and dirt on me. Later as the sun began to set, we were met with what I considered to be the most grueling part of Gadna, the Gibushon. Gibushim serves in the IDF as a way for recruits to hopefully make it into their desired unit of the branch. Our Gibushon consisted of running back and forth, jumping jacks, and most grueling of all, pushups. I couldn’t keep up and sadly was eliminated from the Gibushon during the running. I cheered on the other members of my squad as the day came to an end. 

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Day 4 

The final day had come, and nothing but nerves rested in my mind. I never was able to imagine myself behind the chamber of a gun, but here I was. Following our final breakfast, we were led down a steep hill to the shooting ranges. I wasn’t ready, even though I knew what to expect. The loud sounds troubled me, but what I felt at that moment was different as what I worried about was right in front of me. I wanted to get the day over with, and I luckily was selected to go in the first group. We were brought into the range, where there were mattresses placed, with headphones on top of them. In front of each mattress was a metal arch, which would serve as your space to fire. As I pondered what was about to happen, I tried to collect myself so that shooting would be done sooner. We had to yell back the commands that were yelled at us, and soon enough I found myself on the ground on my stomach, with an M-16 in hand. Finally, I heard the command “eish” or fire. I pressed on the trigger as fast as I could and soon enough, I emptied all the bullets. With tears down my eyes from how loud each shot was, to the kickback and pungent smell of gunpowder, it was over. We climbed back up the hill and were brought to the same place all ceremonies were conducted. I was given the honor of raising the Israeli flag, and even more overjoyed to be the last person in our company to do so. As time came, I walked up to the flagpole and pulled the rope, raising the beautiful blue and white flag high into the air. In that moment I felt a sense of pride, one I hadn’t before. When thinking about why I chose this experience, I didn’t have much of a personal connection to Israel, but in that moment, I felt a sense of belonging. I was a puzzle piece at that moment, finally putting myself in the puzzle surrounded by those whose lives were forever changed by the IDF. 

All in all, Gadna was one of the most life-changing experiences I have ever had. In addition to bringing me closer to my ancestors in Israel, it made me even more proud of the ever-changing social climate in Israel. The IDF is diverse as it doesn’t matter where you’re from, your religion, or your status. It’s that sense of inclusion in our squads, and our company, that has woven several different communities tighter.