Friday, July 18th, 2025 – Auschwitz-Birkenau

This summer, I had the privilege of attending Auschwitz-Birkenau for the first time with a BBYO Passport Central Europe Discovery. This is a moment I have been preparing for my entire life. To say it was life-changing or groundbreaking wouldn’t truly do this experience justice. Visiting Auschwitz-Birkenau gave me a new perspective on how lucky we are to be here today. As you read this article, I want you to be reminded that although this is one of the most devastating things in our history as the Jewish people, we are here today because our ancestors fought so hard for us to be. As I look back on my experience, I feel blessed that we, as the Jewish people, get to be who we are today and experience these surreal, transformative experiences that have shaped us into the resilient Jews we are.

At the beginning of the tour, we stood along the train tracks that led into Birkenau. David, our tour guide, began talking about the train tracks and all of the cattle cars carrying millions of innocent people who had no idea that their lives would end in a matter of days, months, or even minutes. During those moments, I felt numb knowing that I stood where about one million of my people were killed.

Next we walked into the sleeping quarters and had an in-depth conversation about what it was like living in these severe conditions. David said that everyone at the camp had nothing. They were just trying to survive, not get shot or sent to the gas chambers. During those moments, I was hyperaware of the fact that I, a Jewish teen in 2025, was standing in a death camp where millions of our people were murdered in cold blood around 80 to 85 years ago. I was shocked and felt hopeful and grateful that we (our group) were there that day.

We kept walking. We went into a cleaning room while David was explaining what it was like to scrub and try to shower in this horrible place. I was thinking and standing, feeling numb, knowing that people would be near their deathbed or just drop dead if they couldn't survive any longer. I also realized that the way the Jews were treated was so terrible. They were beaten or shot if they did not follow the Nazis’ rules, given not a lot to eat, so most of the time they would starve to death or just drop dead. This made me feel sick.

As we walked along the tracks and out into the far part of the camp, I felt hopeful. I was so proud to be there, and grateful because had this camp not been liberated, none of us would be here.

My mood changed once we started getting closer to the gas chambers and the cattle cars. We discussed the selection process, how families would be separated, parents taken from their kids, and would never see them again. During these moments, I felt as though I might scream and sob so loudly. THIS WAS A REALITY for them, and it could have been us, and it still could happen to us. Then, when David mentioned parents, children, and whole families being ripped away from each other, I felt sick. These innocent babies and their mothers were taken right to their deaths. Not knowing where they were, why they were there, or that those moments were their last. I was in horror, and my heart was heavy as we walked through the rest of the camp. This was so gut-wrenching for me because these carefree, joyful Jews had no idea where they were going and what they were going to lose in a matter of seconds. I also felt such shock and surrealness of the fact that I had heard and seen movies, read all about right where I was standing. As I looked around at the others on my trip, I knew we all shared the same feeling, whether we were showing it or not.

In that moment, as I looked around, I knew we were the next generation who could really stop terrible things from happening in the same form, just a different pattern. Then I was reminded of what world we live in and how these awful things keep happening to us no matter how hard we try. I remembered having a conversation with someone else on the trip. They explained that one of the other extermination camps could be up and running in a matter of minutes today. As I was reminded of that moment, I thought, could that happen? What would happen if Auschwitz-Birkenau were to start back up again? But being here at Auschwitz reminded me that we can face what's in front of us now. We did it with such resilience and strength 80 years ago, why not now! As David kept talking, I was feeling as if I had been inside one of my Holocaust books. The voices of the authors and survivors who went through this all were going through my head. All that was going through my head was this really happened, and I'm standing here. How can I make sure this never happens again?

Towards the end of touring Auschwitz-Birkenau, our group stopped at the remains of the 3 huge gas chambers. For me, this part of the tour was hard because I was at the point where I was so overwhelmed and tired and couldn't handle anything else. Anyway, on our way out of the camp, we had a couple of beautiful moments that I will never forget for the rest of my life. The first moment was when we all said the Mourner's Kaddish, where the ashes of the women and the children lay near the gas chambers. This moment was so special because you could see that we, as a community, mourned and remembered the ones we had lost.

Another beautiful moment I had was right after we said the Mourner's Kaddish, our staff gave us as long as we needed to soak in and process where we were. I took this moment to walk to the end of the barbed wire fence and look out into the distance at the rest of the camp. I felt like I could cry, and then smile, and then also be horrified at the same time because of what terrible things happened here, but all I did that day was let myself feel everything, whether it was happy, scared, overwhelmed, or everything tied together.

Once we walked out of Auschwitz, I felt like a changed person, more mature and knowledgeable since I had gone in and experienced this place of horrors. For a moment, I felt like I had just walked through a time machine. My heart was heavy, but I felt so strong and empowered to be able to experience what I had. I felt lucky to be able to have experienced this place and everything that it is to us as the Jewish people today. During the moments of walking back out of the camp, I felt really lucky to be able to leave, but also lucky that I had gotten to experience this. It wasn't just that I felt grateful to be at the camp, it was that there was this fire under me, urging me to dig deeper to learn more about what really happened here at Auschwitz-Birkenau. This also made me want to explore other camps besides Auschwitz-Birkenau. I also felt this strong sense of connection to the survivors of Auschwitz and the Holocaust in general. I felt so empowered and even more proud to be Jewish today. Not only did I feel great amounts of pride, but I felt like I could make a difference by speaking out and sharing this history with others. The thoughts going through my head were “Wow, I can't wait to teach and tell the next generation of Jews our history and how we came out on the other side!”

So throughout the rest of the tour at the main camp, Auschwitz 1, and the rest of the day, I was able to be there for myself, knowing that I had just been to a place where thousands and millions were killed. Being there for myself in the second part of the Auschwitz tour meant that I really could go in with a clearer mind because I had already seen the worst of it. Now, Auschwitz 1 was drastically different than Birkenau because it was more like a museum tour than like the real thing, even though it was. I was able to be there for myself in Auschwitz 1 because it felt more like a museum, and not like I was walking through the main camp of Auschwitz. On the other hand, as I was walking through Auschwitz 1 and saw how my peers were reacting, I felt I could use the energy that had empowered me as I walked out of Birkenau to be there for them. For instance, there was a beautiful moment when our group was in the room with all the belongings that were taken from the kids during the selection process. I was walking and looking around the room in shock, and I saw one of my friends crying, so I went over and gave her the biggest hug. For me, the Birkenau part of the tour was the hardest, so being able to see that I could make someone feel a little better in this horrible place gave me the same sense of pride I had when I walked out of Auschwitz-Birkenau.

Now, although we didn't see all of Auschwitz 1, there was one last special moment that will always stick with me. When one of the staff and I ran back to see the original gas chamber at Auschwitz 1. Being able to walk in and see the gas chamber was a surreal experience because I didn't think I’d get the chance to walk into one. These last moments of the day were something special. I couldn't believe we were standing right where thousands of Jews stood. Thinking they were going to take a shower, but little did they know what would happen in a matter of seconds. When I remember what it was like to stand in that gas chamber, I'm in shock and have no words to explain what it really was like inside the gas chamber. I will say it was truly one of the most unforgettable experiences I’ve had.

To conclude, going to Auschwitz-Birkenau was truly one of the most eye-opening experiences throughout my Passport trip. It gave me such perspective and such gratitude. I am so beyond lucky that I got to walk through the gates of Auschwitz-Birkenau and leave an even prouder Jew because of the strength our people had 80 years ago. Not only am I empowered and ready to use all the knowledge I learned throughout the day at Auschwitz-Birkenau, but I am also more confident and ready to teach this history to others who may know little to nothing about the Holocaust and the terrors it caused.

My piece of advice that I want to leave you with is, if you can and ever do get the chance to go to these camps, go. It will be life-changing. You will come out with a whole new perspective on how lucky we are to be Jews today. While you're there, go in without expecting anything because you have no idea how you're going to feel or react in the moment. Also, everyone has their own experience, so yours may be completely different or similar to someone you know. All that matters, though, more than the experience itself, is what you take home and bring back—the knowledge and experience you gained from going to these camps.

Lastly, I want to leave you with some words of wisdom written by Elie Wiesel in his book Night: “Because if we forget, we are guilty, we are accomplices.”