If you have ever been to CLTC, ILTC, or Kallah, you'd know that Chofesh is one of the best parts of camp. It's a time to hang out with friends, play sports, relax, and chat with someone in a hammock. HOWEVER, the very best part of Chofesh is most definitely the Shuk. In a camp full of food that is “meh” at best lies a room like no other. At Perlman, right next to Katz, and at CLTC right outside the gym, are where the two Shuks reside. If you're looking to buy some snacks, drinks, or even get a free water bottle after you've lost it, the Shuk is the place to be, and these are the BEST items at BBYO’s Shuk.
(This list is in no particular order and is strictly a HUMOROUS writing, subject to Alexander Greenwald, Jonah Wolf, Jonah Bonomo, and Isaac Diamond's opinions.)
If you have never heard of a Swiss Cake Roll, what are you doing with your life? Although not from Switzerland, Swiss Cake Rolls are exactly what they sound like. It's a flat sheet of chocolate cake with vanilla frosting on one side, then rolled up and covered in chocolate. It's a delicious treat that I have spent an obscene amount of money on over the past two summers.
Rating: 9.8/10 Shuk Card punches
So, if I’m being honest, I hate coffee; I really can’t drink it because it tastes disgusting to me. Ike, however, says this drink tastes good, and I trust him.
Rating: 4.3/10 Shuk Card punches (Ike overruled, 10/10 for him)
A fan-favorite snack, combining chocolate, wafer, and caramel all in one. The only problem is that the left side of the Twix tastes worse than the right side somehow…
Rating: 8.9/10 Shuk Card punches
This is the best soda of all time; scratch Coke, scratch Sprite, scratch any diet or zero-sugar versions of any soda. (They all taste worse; fight me if you disagree.) Dr Pepper is no doubt the best out of them all. Its 25 different flavors (although flavors are not disclosed) combine to create a magical concoction of a drink.
Rating: 10/10 Shuk Card punches
Did you stay up all night playing poker with no real money? Are you snoozing through Ian Kandel's or Rabbi Meir’s Limmud with a whole afternoon of Israeli dancing? One word: caffeine. Not only does Coke have 34 milligrams of caffeine (46 milligrams if you drink Diet), but it tastes delicious too!!!
Rating: 9.4/10 Shuk Card punches
Much like a Swiss Cake Roll, if you have never heard of a Zebra Cake, what are you doing with your life? A hexagonal slice of vanilla cake, filled with frosting, and coated with white chocolate and milk chocolate stripes, gives you the feeling of eating an actual zebra. (Just kidding, please don't eat zebras.)
Rating: 8.4/10 Shuk Card punches
The Kit Kat is the go-to backup at Shuk. If you walk up and don’t see a Twix, Zebra Cake, or a Swiss Cake Roll in sight, it means today is a Kit Kat kind of day. Yes, the refrigerator carries it, but that first bite brings so much joy to that day.
P.S. Jonah Wolf takes a bite out of the whole thing at once, so his opinion isn’t valid.
P.P.S. He wrote the whole opinion that you may see above.
Rating: 7.9/10 Shuk Card punches
What happens if you have one punch left on your Shuk card but want three different things? To that, I give you the Cheez-It Snack Mix. The Cheez-It Snack Mix is your loophole. One bag, three snacks: pretzels, breadsticks, and of course, Cheez-Its. It's the Andy Phillips (the first NBA player to get a triple-double) of the snack world.
P.S. Jonah Wolf disagrees with this take. Bro thinks that it shouldn’t even be near the list.
Rating: 6.7/10 Shuk Card punches
Well, well, here we run into what I believe may be the most controversial topic on this list. People either go big or go home on these Cosmic Brownies; you love ‘em or you hate ‘em. While this particular item would not top this list whatsoever, it snagged a solid point for being one of the best chocolate items at the Shuk.
Rating: 7.2/10 Shuk Card punches
This product has top-three potential on this list. The absolute best sandwich you will find at Perlman. Just imagine, it's a 90-degree day outside, post-Beiteinu, after your friend just yapped way too much.
Rating: 8.6/10 Shuk Card punches
Free BBYO Water Bottles
Who doesn't like free things, especially within an organization notorious for taking as much money from you as possible? Whether you “lost” your water bottle or legitimately lost your water bottle, the Shuk staff are always willing to give you another one.
Rating: Thank you, Andrea, for giving them to us 🫡/10 Shuk Card punches
Shuk Card
The $10 card that offers you endless snack possibilities.
Alexander Greenwald is an Aleph from Rebels AZA #442 in the North Florida Region #52 and plays Varsity and Ecnl soccer, and serves as a Regional Aleph Godol.
All views expressed on content written for The Shofar represent the opinions and thoughts of the individual authors. The author biography represents the author at the time in which they were in BBYO.
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